Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I read my horoscope and realized I need to start taking rides down a road I call "I'm sorry for being an ass Lane" Started by writing a note of apologize to a person who was for a while a very good friend. Then during a flair, when I got very needy and demanding I decided that anyone who was not giving me all the help I thought I needed should be removed from my life. I do understand that friendship is a give and take relationship, and that people have their own issues. I just forgot when I was sick that I am not the only person in their lives.

I think perhaps I should start holding the world at arms length, I can't fix everyone, I can't fix myself. I want to fix myself, oh I want to so very badly. Instead I try to fix others, and sometimes no many times, they have no interest in changing. Or if they do have an interest in changing what they want to change and what I think they should change are two very different things

Slept very poorly last night, woke up to feel the animals, took my am meds and crashed right back down. Slept the rest of the day away. Got to build a new dosage chart. I do so wish my life did not revolved around medication.

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