Monday, December 05, 2011

Today I did something about my first Christmas

Some thing I never thought I would be able to do.

I threw out an ordainment. It was not an ordainment that I ever put on a tree, but it was one that stayed wrapped up in it's own special box. It said "Tim & Jan 1st Christmas 1982" I don't know why I brought it with me to Boston in 2003, I don't know why each and every year it came out of the ordainment box and then went back in.  Well today, it went out, well almost out. The trash bag is not quite full, but once it is the ordainment will be history.

I could not bring myself to crush it, but as other trash goes in the bag it just might be crushed. That first Christmas in 1982 was stressful, We had little more than each other and a bunch of books. I had been uprooted from my home and life and tried to become less a Bostonian and UnMasshole myself and become a resident of Connecticut. Tried to get his family to love me the way I loved their son. It was the first Christmas we went to Hopkinton on the 26th of December. My X's birthday is the 26th, he always grumbled about never getting a real birthday party, or a real birthday gift. 

Well my parents, decided to change that, our dessert was a birthday cake, He got a present under the tree and another one in birthday wrapping paper. It was a great way to start a marriage,

I wonder what I would say to that me, of 1982, what would she want to believe?

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