1- Kids don't watch enough television
2- People should assimilate when they move here
3-The one where I fuck with n00bs
I took Byron for a walk to the beach before I went grocery shopping. I enjoy introducing Byron to new people, and he loves meeting total strangers. As we were walking back a young man and his mother walked toward us. They were both speaking a language I do not speak and pointing at Byron. We slowly with the mother speaking broken English came to an understanding that the boy wanted to pat Byron.
Then it went bad. The mother suggested it would help me in the neighborhood if I learned a little bit of Spanish. I could have told her she moved to my neighborhood and should learn English. I could have said nothing and walked away. I chose the third option. Fuck with her. I smiled and told her English was not my first language and I had chosen to learn it before I moved here. She asked me what my first language was and I said - with a straight face- Klingon.
She paused for a minute and asked me what part of Europe I was from?