It's Byron's world I just stumble through it.

I did not sleep well last night. Kept waking up needed to move the sheet and comforter around. Just laying back staring at the ceiling. Byron decided at 10am that he had waited as long as he could, and he demanded I get up NOW! I usually sleep nude, ya get that picture out of your heads. Even though I only wrote the words the image is still in your heads. Bawwwja

First thing I needed was clean underwear, so in the semi dark I grabbed the first underwear shaped item. I tried to put them on, and could only find two asymmetrical holes. I am sure there was a third hole, and I just could not find it. I pulled them on and realized where the third hole had hidden. Byron was getting more and more aggravated. I yanked them down and grabbed a pair of pants. Yes just for my dog I was willing to do the underwear less walk of shame out of my own apartment.

Now through all this, it was raining. Not a lot, but enough that some one walking outside would get very wet.

I grabbed a T-shirt on old one that some how had gotten smaller since I last remember wearing it. Shrugged it on and grabbed my keys and a doggie bag. When I opened the apartment door Byron bolted toward the elevator. I caught up with him, and clicked on his leash. Pushed the elevator button and watched Byron bounce up and down, like a small recently potty trained child who has figured out the process but still has not mastered the lead time between want to pee and have to pee!

We got out of the elevator and rushed to the front door.

Where we stopped dead...


It was raining, as I had told Byron more than once while we were upstairs. It was not until the reality of getting wet set in that Byron rethought the peeing concept. He went from NEED to pee right now to, ah I can hold it for a while. Do what you were going to do.

Brought him back upstairs, and finally got a chance to master the art of underwear, grabbed my morning slim-fast! coffee shake - don't judge me, pulling back a soda tab is about the only thing I can master some days.

Got my morning medications down, and flipped on the radio so I could listen to NPR. Not to some how find the spoons to do something other than sit in a chair and listen to the radio. Maybe that in and of itself will be today's goal.


GGGGOOOOAAAALLLL

A holiday on Monday really messes up the rest of the week

Monday is a busy day, the day when everyone hits the ground running. Because of that, Monday has no idea what to do with itself when there is a Monday holiday. Monday runs to the end of it's chain and barks like a dog who sees a bone just a day away. Monday tries to get the rest of the days of the week to trade places. Monday is the OCD day of the week. With nothing to do, it panics.

Tuesday has to spend quite a bit of energy just helping Monday keep it together. Just to make sure that Monday does not take all that excess energy and injure it self. Which means that when Tuesday dawns, Tuesday is already to exhausted to do anything.

So Tuesday asks Wednesday to come up early so it can rest. But Wednesday use to being hump day, can't handle being the start of the work week. Then Wednesday looks at a calender and realizes that there are fewer Wednesday holidays than any other day of the week. That's when it realizes that Sunday is like a permanent holiday and Wednesday starts to sulk. Waving the calendar over head Wednesday goes to bug Thursday.

Thursday lifts it's head out of the covers, looks to see if it is the fourth Thursday of November yet. Because that is the only Thursday anyone ever pays attention to. If not, back under the covers Thursday goes. Right after calling Friday and telling Friday to pull it's fair weight for once.

Friday jumps up willing to start the party early, only to realize every one is so exhausted from the messed up week that no one sees a reason to celebrate. This confuses the heck out of Friday, and Friday not wanting to party alone stops short to look for Saturday.

Which is why Friday feels like two days instead of one, because both Thursday and Saturday need to get up and keep Friday in line. Which messes Saturday up because it has to find a way to cram in an entire weekends work.

Saturday looks to Sunday to help keep the weekdays in line. But Sunday oh Sunday is so busy to help.


Sunday is resting...

Until the sun goes down and it has to wake up Monday.

Out of disaster comes some thing funny

But I have been following to funny twitter accounts. The first one is BP Global PR which is a fake account claiming to be the Public Relations arm of British Petroleum. It's not, but the person writing the tweets has a good five times the followers of the real British Petroleum.

Their is a second account now, for bp Terry who is set up as the idiot of the team. Both tweets are hysterically funny, and are equally addicting and thought provoking at the same time.

Something silly my Dad sent me

My Dad sent these to me this morning. I know I have not blogged in a while, due to illness. Hope these silly little words are enough to make you smile today.

Jan - who feels good, but not great.


"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. ...Once."
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
"Never ever tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
Clean it, if it's Dirty.
Oil it, if it Squeaks.
But: Don't Mess with it, if it Works!
- USAF Electronic Technician
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."
- USAF Ammo Troop
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.
....for I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"I found it generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
just bombed."
- John McCain, Pilot & U.S. Senator (R)
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore ( SR-71 test pilot and author)
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:
Latitude is where we are lost, and Longitude is how long we've
been lost there!
- USAF Navi-guesser
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably
a helicopter. However, it's probably unsafe in any case."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always
have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot fouls up, the pilot dies. If ATC fouls up, the pilot dies."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two out of three are needed to
successfully complete the flight."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation. We never left one up
there!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to
a person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing
anything about it."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot)
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB , AZ, 1970
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes
FULL power to taxi to the terminal."
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What
happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
------------------------------------------------

Oh my gawds - TO FUNNY

Funny or Die has a great Mad Men parody. MA Men - best fucking Bawsten accents eva!!!!!


Ma Men

Full of the funny

Close to Home

Queen Victoria


My day has not been funny at all. It's snowing out, snowing and warm. I don't have the heater on, it's so warm. I still feel the pain from the storm, it is taking me a long time to type this because my fingers don't want to work. The snow looks so beautiful. I want to go outside and take pictures. Now if only I could walk.